The dark place

 So, I was above it for quite a bit, but here I am. Realizing that I really just don't mean shit at this place of employment and really should just get it out of my head that I will ever work at a place where I matter. Where I am making a difference and where there are people who truly care if I am there or not. That is it. After the meeting yesterday, I was left feeling smaller than ever and really it is taking me a lot to get up and go there today. Maybe you can like your job and not who you work for. Maybe not. I just need to learn the take it and shut up shit and well anyone that knows me knows that is probably my biggest default. I am not a take it and shut up person, but I can be polite and professional. That was the lesson of the day anyways. So, I will be polite and not try to make friends. No one is your friend at your place of work. No. One. Managers really don't give two fucks about you and HR is there for them. Sad finding this reality where I am now. 

So, the perks? My own nice office away from everyone. Lonely at times as it is where I spend most of my days, but I get school work done and have some time to myself in which I do not get outside of the house. So there is that. The cause is good, but again no one really gives a shit. It is just a job. I am grateful to have it after my devastating loss at the bank. And this affirms that I will not want to pursue anything else there once I am a paralegal. Unless it is with people who actually are trying to change things. 

Gotta take the moody ass teenager to school. I would really love to fall into this dismal weather day - when it is cold enough to snow, but it is just going to rain ... all ... day. But work, gyno, back to work then bowling. 

I will make the best of my Friday. I think I will get some Starbies after my appointment. No hurry to get back. I will take the time.