No fucking coffee.

 Why am I up this early? Well since like 5ish. I completely forgot to get coffee and well if I forget no one else remembers. Not having someone to share the mental load is the worst and I fucking hate it. I don't want someone to tell me what to do and I do not want someone that I constantly need to tell them what to do in order to fucking fucking every day life. Such an easy stressor in my life that could be avoided if I had a better partner. Just frustrated. 

He wants to go to some Bills tailgate party and I do not. We have been doing this a lot lately. I just want to be at home hanging out, trying to relax. I am a bit fried with school and work. He is fucking wired to be everywhere but home so, there's that. Every time I bring anything up now, it is just me bitching and honestly not even worth it for nothing to change. Not even sure what to do about it at this point. I am just going to keep focusing on me and he can just go be lost in his own little world as fucking usual. I don't have time to find him or figure out wtf he is thinking. We will either come together of maybe fade naturally. 

School is going good so far, but I know as it goes it will get more intense. These next 7 weeks are just half of the first semester. The next half will be two new classes and I am not even sure what happens after that. My advisor sends the same emails out to everyone and has not checked in on a personal basis. That is fine, but not sure what is next as far as classes and I would like to know. I can't find out until after this first half when I get an advisor that sticks with me until I graduate. 

Hoping for a quiet day at work as I just want to bring my switch and relax. It wasn't bad yesterday so today should be okay too. It is another summer day in September though so we will see what the day brings. I have to get ready and go get my niece. Getting her every day and minding my business will be the task I think I am supposed to have in life. Test. Not task. Because yep already wondering why the fuck I have to take her to school everyday if she isn't going to work and/or her other kids with vehicles are there. That is definitely nothing in I need to put on my stress plate though, so I won't. 

My kiddo has open house tonight and how much you wanna bet these assholes will ask me to make dinner even though they can eat at any of the events they are going to tonight. I need to get out of this foul state of mind this morning. Not having coffee is not working out for me. I guess I can have some at my sisters. Or go get one. Yeah, I think I will opt for that today. I should get dressed. 

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