560 dollars

 Hoping this amount produces good food as I am freaking out about the type of one of the ground beefs. Hoping to save it the day of. The guys didn't like the texture and I thought it was weird in the first place. 10lbs at 45 each was actually a steal so we got it. 4 pans later, not so sure. Luckily I have 7 others to go through before getting to that and that is just the ground beef. The chicken is a process and hopefully it gets eaten. Full panic mode of being judged on this food. Really want to make it my best, but after getting up at 6am to drive an hour n half away, hanging out on my feet for 4 hours, then getting all of the grad party meat - so tired. 

Taking a quick minute to try and decompress. Literally. My whole body hurts. Had the kiddo pop my back, laid on my bench to pop it some more and hopefully will take a bath soon as I have at least 3 more hours on the first batch of chicken. Crockpot - salsa & chicken - smells good. The ground beef went faster than expected because I did it on the Blackstone, so 50lbs of ground beef. Done. In pans to cool then going into freezer bags I hope will fit into the freezer we need to put it in. Overboard? Maybe. Not having enough food. Never. Ever. 

So, retrograde filling in and someone should come back to my life. It is not the person who usually does. I can feel that is gone. Who? Not sure. Is it someone I want back in my life? Probably not, but wishful thinking in the back of my mind wants it to be Ryan's dad. Slight wondering if he can squash his cry baby antics and be a dad to our kiddo. Like maybe come home for a bit or something. I dunno. Something tells me it might be that, but then again he never tells his kiddo when he is in NY let alone his own family. So, that is on my mind. No one else comes to mind so anyone that might will be a surprise. 

Back to the grad party. I just want to get through it, have my food praised and start saving money again. Seriously. I wanted to go see Jasmine, but I think we are actually closer than further away on this house thing. I can feel it. I was reading and so far all boxes are checked and not that far away from what we would need for a down payment as we thought. So, we made a plan which is the same plan basically, but bucking back down until after February, then taking everything we saved, talking to a finance guy & realtor - hoping to move by the end of next summer. God willing. Please. oh Please. I see us in our house and I feel it. Cannot wait for it to happen. 

High hopes for this. 

The guys went out for food and some aluminum foil. I decided to stay and watch the cooling, covered food. LOL actually should check on it as one of the cats did try - surprising the one I thought wouldn't dare. 

Then I think we are going to watch some Olympics and fold these fucking plates. Maybe. My hands are killing me. So - enough for now. 


The money I put put comes back triple. 

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