Anxiety got me

 Well I failed to have my in office meeting yesterday. Making the excuse that work needed me there. I just wasn't ready to be judged. I am in a mindset now that this hurdle is just annoying. I have made it this far and I just want to sign up for college classes. All of this extra work is a pain in my ass. Honestly, do I want to do more work ? Do I want to put myself through the stress? I am not sure at the moment. 

My health and fitness goals are rising up a little more. Is it because it is an easier achievement ? Maybe. Do I want to live long enough to see all of this hard work pay off? Yes. Do I want to continuously push myself to exhaustion every day? No. So, just going to keep my baby steps at a steady pace and try to be patient with myself. 

So, today I took off at 3 and I will go. Not ready for this Oral presentation, but I have all day to work on it. I will do okay. Hoping she will release new subjects, because now she will be off for a week. We will see. At least I can get some insight as to some things I keep doing wrong. 3 corrections keep getting kicked back. Driving me bonkers. I will correct those and not submit until she looks at them. Hopefully she will help me out. 

So, now onto the treadmill. Hubby's brother gave us one for super cheap. It seems to work okay. I used it this morning for a very little amount of time and was getting out of breath. Trying to get motivated even when all I have to do is go downstairs is just so very hard at 6am. Baby steps though. I will get better. I did a dumbbell workout last night before dinner and we went for a walk after. Got up this morning for about 10 mins on the treadmill. It has a nice incline. I would of done a few more mins, but I needed to pee bad this morning and the cats were trying to get a mouse. They were just fucking around with it, so I caught it and put it outside.  So, now just need to shower, have some coffee and get ready for work. I still have not got my period so there's that. It is coming, but it is taking it's time. 

My knee is killing me, so not sure it likes all of this activity after a small 4 day hiatus. Oh well. Back to the full grind. 

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