Weird Dreams

 Weird dreams freak me out because they are so real, but usually have the same baseline. This one I remember pretty vividly for a dream so I wanted to get it out. First I did a tarot timeline because this is the 2nd time Chicago has come up. Not even sure what it is about, but some kind of protests that I might of wanted to be apart of, but for some reason was on a weird vacation - now I don't think it was that which scares me more. The only person from my family was my son who didn't age, but I seemed a lot older. I had a "tour guide" for me only and he was trying to seduce me and I was angry. Turned my wedding ring the other way, but was not interested because I figured he was doing it for the tips. I had money though and was not drinking. It all seemed to be a huge distraction as to what was really going on. That is why I hate movies of things that could happen any type of apocalypse movie and what not. Even Independence day scared me. 

Not sure what message to take out of this, but if it is Chicago - wands with fire - days - quickly. My anxiety is up at 7am.

I did manage to sleep a little earlier than I have been so that was nice until my husband decided he needed to make a shit ton of fucking noise in the kitchen. Thought maybe he was putting the pork into the crockpot, but nope and no idea what he was doing.

I walked 3 miles yesterday and my body hates me. But I did it ! Walked on lunch and then again when I got home. I did not sit down - just changed and did it. I have Zumba tonight. Just realized next week is the last class of the session and they are advertising it as free along with the one she canceled - that should be 2 extra classes then for people who paid, but fuck it. I am done with that place. I will stick it out with the Y and push myself to do some classes. Even if I just go right after work and sit - any nice day though I will most likely be walking outside. Not many more weeks until Summer and well my arms will be better but not 100% ready. That is okay. I ate like shit yesterday. LOTS of carbs. Hubby of course went to get me cereal at almost 9pm after me bugging him. We just have no control but fuck - we can't control every fucking thing. 

Work was busy, but after the stress I was thinking it was pretty rewarding. This precious brat made me a sweet picture and thinking about what she is going through, well I can see why " she wanted to be a little naughty and do something bad" People really use their kids as pawns to fight each other and it is disgusting. No one suffers but these poor kiddos. This one though. I am pretty sure if she can keep her mind together, she will be a force when she is older and I think I will be running into her again at some point. Maybe I will be a little bit nicer when we meet. That kind of stuck a nerve, but I tend to stay firm with kids especially when they are tearing up my office. 

I had a nice walk with one of the attorneys who I think is becoming my favorite. The irony of that one is funny, but yeah. She reminds me of me if I wouldn't of been such a lost soul in my younger days. 

Today I will hopefully get some school work done. I read the other stories, but they are really rough to get through. I need to read them again and then finally choose the 1 I want to answer the questions for. Either the first one I read or The Story of the Hour. I have been reading and doing my thoughts then double checking with Google. I am not always correct and a little confused on plot and theme to be honest. So, yep - debating Zumba today or just getting some tennis rackets from the store and going to do that with my hubby for a little bit. Depends on how my legs feel later. 

And the boy left later than he wanted and it is my fault - because I wanted a hug but then he needed his ChapStick and forgot his key ... wow. I think he left? 

Today is an easy get dressed day. Jeans and one of my new shirts. Just putting my hair up because it is a little greasy. I am going to Zumba then yes Zumba I paid for it, I should go. Then I need to condition my hair. I am going to do another treatment and then I guess wait for color. Now I am thinking just a chocolate brown, nothing purple or crazy. I will see what she thinks about that. If she tells me another treatment I will run to Sallys and color it myself at this point. I will though, get another treatment in between from there and do that a couple of times before she can dye it if she says she will. Either way I need to be somewhere by 6 to pick up cupcakes. A bunch of boozy ones I bought for the office and well people might not even be there. I might cancel. They are 5 bucks each and I can't - won't even have one so. Or just make it less and give extras to Becca. Realized I went overboard with her driving downtown - Paid for parking at a ridiculous price then bought her food. Not  a big deal to me, but it was that deep down - if I take care of them they will like me bullshit. I need to stop that. 

I really need to shake this dream. I like getting to that state sleep wise, but my dreams are never the best. Trying to figure them out is the worst. I also deleted Facebook once again in an attempt to detox from Social Media. 

Time to get ready for work.