Thursday

 Feels like a Monday. I need this cold gloomy weather to break. Seasonal depression has a strong hold still. I had some weird dreams this morning and they are still lingering. Mostly at a meeting for school like an orientation of some sort and kids coming up to me telling me they don't like my kid. Seems legit. I buckled and told him if he found his phone while cleaning his room, I would give it back. Well he cleaned and did not find it. I gave it back anyway. Regrets. Pretty sure I will have it back before tomorrow. I will be keeping it until the end of vacation if that is the case. 

I ended up rearranging my room. I got my Spring/Summer clothes out in high hopes that I can wear them soon. I am pretty comfy at the moment so I think the kiddo can walk to school. Wondering if I will be going into a ton of work because I was gone for two days or no work because they sent it to someone else. I think that part is annoying, but we will see. Either way I should have time for some school work. Oral presentation on the first amendments and I will have to memorize it for weeks after the work is done. Like my last lesson. Still nothing for an in office check. Super annoying. 

I need to cancel my hair appointment though. I am not ready to color. I want to bad, but my hair still feels so fragile. I am going to buy that conditioning line and wait until after retrograde. I need to make sure to call today.

After work I am going to go to the Y. I need to make myself go as I haven't done shit all week. I just want it to be warm enough to walk outside. 

This eclipse is going to be a shit show of people in our area. I will be watching it from the highest hill in the graveyard. Or my own yard. I am not trying to be out there with the assholes. All local hotels from here to Niagara Falls are booked. Our drive in is booked. Hoping people will not think of the park by my house, but if they do for fireworks, then they probably will for this. Especially where the lookout is. Hubby gets a half day and I get the whole day off. An eclipse during retrograde. This should be interesting. I can feel the current pull, from the lunar eclipse and the shadow period - full moon still lingering which was nice so I can get some things done. It is intense. In a good way though. My house is finally clean. 

I decided yesterday to let go of people who make no effort to be in my life. I did not want to go fake it with any of them. It would of been nice to see people from the carousel park, but I would of probably been disappointed in how her own family took care of things, so I grieved at home. 

Maybe I am just not dealing anymore or I am handling things better. No way to tell which one. I am drained though. Cry and move on. Right? 

Today at least it will be a sunny 23 degrees. I need to find more dress pants. I have two pairs that fit me and a bunch of skirts, but I do not want to wear those all of the time. I think I might today just out of convenience. 

And now I need to figure out how to get my key off the keyring because the kid has once again lost his house key. fucking fed up with his bullshit lately. Just sat around watching tiktok and waited for me to yell at him to fucking get his ass to school saying he forgot he had to walk. For fuck sake. Not sure what will get me through his teenage years, but please have some fucking mercy. 

I guess it is time to get dressed and such myself. Until later.