the Wake

 Well today is the day of the services for Gramma Peaches and I am just trying to figure out if I really want to go. Celebrate her with people are well - not the best? Drama clearly going on and well maybe this is time to just let that part of me go. This eclipse season is all for that and well why have ties to people who don't actually consider me family anymore. I don't owe anyone anything. I think instead I will go put flowers on my Aunt Lori's grave - bet no one even went to see her on her bday yesterday. I usually go the day after just in case - not to run into anyone. I will then drive to the lake to admire gramma peach's house before my heart is broken to what it becomes. That is my plan. 

First I have to force my kiddo to go to school. I have decided after seeing some of the things he has responded back to these girls - that maybe he can deal with a little of this himself. This is just something he will need to get through. Hopefully he is not too sick because the energy lately does make everyone off and sick. I just need a fucking day to myself. No husband, no kiddo just me and my healing today. After dropping him off I may go back to sleep. 

My hubby and I had a very nice one night trip in Canada. I ended up getting my hotel reservation changed due to plumbing issues and the room was definitely an upgrade. We did still have a view, but we also got a huge jacuzzi bathtub and that made everything perfect. We watched the moon come up over the Falls, beautiful and full. Then I woke us up ass early to watch the sunrise. That really could not have worked out any better. I am very grateful for that time we had. We actually relaxed and didn't do all of the things. The next day we did a little and I ended up very tired with a headache. I came home and slept for a few hours. He of course went to pickleball. I was just a little annoyed because he had energy for pickleball, but couldn't keep it going for sex in the hotel. Meh. I think I need to come to terms with the fact that he just may not be that into me with my weight loss. He definitely liked me more when I was fatter. Or I don't know. Whatever. I don't have the energy much anymore myself. So yeah. 

A day of rest and hopefully time to myself - once I get the kiddo to school, I hope he stays there. He only has today & tomorrow before he is off for a week and a couple of days. 

I will have work Thursday and Friday. The boys are off on Friday and have some quality time planned. 

I was going to dress up today, but realized that my dress shoes are still in hubby's car, so trying to think about that. Plus it is windy and cold. It will be worse at the lake. 

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