Mental Health Day

 Decided to take yet another one of these and I am just wondering if I am okay. As usual before my period, but starting to feel this fast track I put myself on and the fact that I need to get on the fucking train. That is what I have been thinking about today. I spent the day tired from the concert last night and again stressing to my husband that once and a while, a concert is nice, but I do not want to do it regularly. I want to save money, I want to study and I need to finish this. even though at the moment I do not want to do it. 

In all honesty. I need to push myself. I will be successful at work and finish this course so I can start these classes. I feel the energy pulling me. Hoping my husband is actually on board scares me. Everything is set and ready to go. I just need to get with it. 

Tomorrow will be a better day. Today was a good day with my kiddo even if he got on my last nerve. 

I have been watching this David Beckham documentary not only for the obvious reasons, but it is turning out to be very inspiring. I have always liked him and his achievements along with his wife's whom I wanted to be in life. But seeing everything he went through and how determined his was, is making me to be also. 

Determined. I am determined to do this. I will stay out of my damn head about the doubts and my age or whatever pops up. Just need to not be in this freeze zone. Just have to push through. 

I left work yesterday pretty upset. Just annoyed with everything. I have decided that it is not a fight worth having with myself or anyone. 

More in the morning.

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