Comes in 3s

 Still not sure if I should count my friend's horse, but if I do then - that is the 3rd and any anxiety of another can diminish. I only have a few or so minutes with a lot on my mind. I am going to push through another day of sadness and keep to the plan. Even though today, I am taking a rest day from the gym because my body is not made for every day. We did try a new class and it kicked my ass a little. I even left less than half way through. Mostly because they said get your mat and well it didn't say to bring one so I didn't have mine. I might of suffered through the rest or at least a little more. My arms hurt. Bootcamp is not in the cards for me, but debating their Pilates class or even Zumba. No one even answered me about the bootcamp anyways, so not going. I need to tell my coworker. Okay done. 

I debated staying home today, but I would just dwell on the sadness and I do not need to do that. In all honesty I do not think they are even going to have a ceremony for gramma peaches and well even though that sucks I cannot butt my nose into their business anymore than I have at the moment. I will grieve on my own for that one. Then if I wasn't on Facebook, I wouldn't of endured more sadness people had to face. One being an animal crossing friend's sister. I did have a few encounters with her online and she was a really nice and sweet person. My heart breaks for my friend as I know she loved her sister dearly. She is shattered. No fucking scrolling today as my mind and heart just can't take anymore sadness. Then my friend's horse - counting that as 3 because I cannot take much more of this pre full moon, retrograde, eclipse shit at the moment. I am going to be strong and positive - and just keep swimming. 

So, today. deleted Facebook again. I am going to do my best to just stay off of there. Then I am going to get my work done. I did think of a great answer for question one on my school work and so I do think that is the vibe of the day. I brought headphones to watch the rest of the movie and while working I did a ton of research. I have a bad habit of having good thoughts, but needing to double check that it makes sense and that I know what the fuck I am saying. Now to put all of the things into words. I am pretty proud of myself for realizing that the film goes from a childlike innocence to a sad matureness that happens when you realize how harsh the world really is. Hey and if shutting myself into my happiness bubble words then so be it. Suffer in silence. 

Tomorrow is supposed to be my rest day as Charlie has baseball shit, but if I do rest day today then I can go tomorrow without him up my ass. Just think I need some time to myself. Not much, but at the gym definitely goes further if I have my headphones in and do my own thing.  I will try to do that today. 

Well glad I got some things out, but it is time to get the kiddo to school and ready for work. I should definitely shower. 

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