To Spring or not to Spring? That is the question.

 The sun is out. Still pretty chilly, but this week shows some promising Spring time weather. If it is anything like other years lately, we will get a taste of it then cold. It will go back and forth until Summer arrives - I hate summers here. Always too humid when it is warm and/or just shitty out. Hoping this year will be different. Global warming or not, I want to be able to enjoy the outdoors. 

Debating my day today. It might be nice enough to walk the track at the school for a bit or go to Zumba at the Y. I don't have much longer to debate. I have a little list of shit that needs to get done and they are time consuming, but not my whole day. 

I went out by myself to play Pokemon yesterday and it was fun. Saw some old friends and maybe met a new one, but one of my comfort zones. I think I will go to Zumba, so I need to shower briefly to rinse off my tummy problems from yesterday. Every part of my being knowing what needs to be done, but some kind of funk holding me back and I am not sure what it is. 

It is windy as fuck so going outside might not be enjoyable if the wind is cold as fuck. Yesterday was cold as fuck. 

I realized that I do not have a day off for a while and I guess that is okay. I can complete my lessons today and then hopefully start a new one sometime tomorrow into this week. Shit. I think the kiddo is up and now I will not get to shower. Nm I will.

Okay got a quick shower in and I am not ready to leave the house for Zumba. I am finishing my coffee and then I will head out to walk the track for a few before hand. Walking was huge for my weight loss last year and if I am not going to be able to get rid of this hanging fat unless I get surgery, then I will just do my best to move daily. 

So, like 10 more mins before I need to leave. Listening to my kiddo talk to himself in the shower. Watching my kitten get ready to pounce Baxter. 

Once I am done with the Y, I will probably be pumped to keep going. I have to cut up fruit and make some smoothie bags. Make some oat muffins and stir fry meal prep. At some point I want to put laundry away, but who am I kidding? That is always last on the list as I just have no place to put everything and don't really feel like rearranging. But I will soon. 

I had small hopes yesterday for some home loans and checked out some options that the lady at the bank advised. Just kind of down about that I think. We don't make enough for anything decent and I make too little for any kind of fucking help. A little defeated at this point, but if we stay on track and keep saving maybe that will change, if not we do have at least one more year before Ryan is in high-school. Saving for two years and getting a bigger chunk down is our only option at this point. Not to mention we are both still trying to build credit. Also, by then maybe we can get the fuck out of NY. Never know. I am a little worried about Charlie's work. They have been making crazy cuts with people and money. No bonus, no paid days off that they have had in the past. I think they need to fess up and tell their employees what is really going on. Just makes me want to go harder on my schooling so if anything happens, we might be okay. I do not think we will bounce back well if he loses this one. 

Fucking hate all the what ifs and then you're not supposed to dwell on them. Welp sorry in my lifetime that is the only thing that has been dependable. Once anyone in the whole fucking world gets momentum to change things for the better the universe, god or whatever just fucking cuts it off and that makes me a fucking lunatic.

But for today, I will do my best to be the best I can be today because that is what counts. So, off to Zumba I go. Then to prep my heart out while the boys are bowling. 

The wind makes these cats nuts anyways and I am not in the mood. Hmm it sounds like hubby is home. He is early. Time to go.