Sugar binge

 So maybe replacing meals with giant cookies isn't the best idea - eating two ice cream sandwiches in a row definitely not. I might of figured out why I am in such a I do not want to do anything funk. I mean PMS has initiated also so there is that. Also, I need to stop reading the news. Texas is on fire. People in a group that I thought was for happy posts are posting their tragic shit. I need a break from the outside world. So, on a mission to myself - I have once again deleted Facebook and will do my best not to get bored enough to add it back on. 

I should be able to keep busy today. There are a couple things I need to do at work and the corrections for school. Also, my farming game. That is why I have indulged into the gaming. My Switch games are just not cutting it. They need to many bug fixes that they just aren't enjoyable and well good ol Animal Crossing only goes so far for entertainment. I did skip this journaling yesterday and that probably wasn't the best idea. 

I will take my time on the school work and there is some stuff from in-person class that can be read too. Occupied. Then I have Zumba tonight, but not even sure I want to go because I cannot stand the one chick doing it tonight. I did pay full for the sessions though and need to skip next week for the Avenged Sevenfold concert. 

I am just thankful for my life today. Thankful that my mind does not run to try and take it away from me anymore. Thankful that I woke up feeling healthy - even if I feel guilty about the cookies. But just true thankful and proud of myself for digging myself out of such a shithole. In my mind, with my health, my actions. Just way better off than I thought I would be and I am thankful for each day that I get. I am thankful for such a great husband and someone to love me. I am thankful that my kids and kitties are happy & healthy. 

Fully emotional while being filled with gratitude. I am thankful for a good paying job even if I struggle with the people, but sometimes that is just on me and it is hard to get close. I am thankful that the job is not stressful and easy going. I pray for stability so I can be there for a long time. 

I need to continue to make my office the Zen Den there. I decided that I will take it upon myself to put the damn paintings up and I will be getting some more for my personal office. Haven't decided which route there, but probably sticking with my Zen theme. 

I am going to do my best to put thoughts of yesterday away and work on today being the best. The weather has me a little on edge as it was stormy last night and some of those storms will be back here later this morning, but I will have my headphones in case. My building with amplify everything. 

I dealt with a little of my feelings on this whole school thing last night. I know it is ultimately my doing to myself, but I am still allowed to think it is a pain in the ass and that it is hard. I am allowed to be upset and mad - but I felt it for a minute so letting it go. I just need to continue my little journey and I will end up on an amazing path - I am already on an amazing path. I really do feel like this is it for me. I know my health & wellness journey is important too, but I know how to maintain and need to do the right things there. That just comes with doing the right stuff and making time with it. This though, will open so many opportunities for me. Mainly, I just want a backup plan in case something bad happens again and I have my job ripped out from underneath me. 

Many thoughts this morning before getting ready for work. It is already Wednesday so that is nice. This weekend will be super nice and I think we will be able to get some yardwork done. I can start my Zen den here at home.