The Zen Den

 So, in a meh mood this morning and I will just blame it on eating like shit still, some money stress and overall PMS. Usually it is worse, but just a blah feeling I cannot shake. Worried about my teeth and my upcoming appointment not even until next Thursday, but yeah any extra money will now probably be for that shit and it is making me depressed. 

Court went to be expected with less $$ going out, but still enough to bring us back to reality. So, stressed what do we do? Out to our favorite place to eat. So, beating myself up for not being consistent on this bullshit new year stuff. 

Trying to keep in mind that I am really only to be taking shit one day at a time and honestly I have. There is just not enough time in a day to get all the shit done and I need to be okay with that. So, grocery shopping still on the list of To-Do. Floors still on the To-Do. And I guess that is about it. Really hoping that shit this shit mood subsides before work. I woke up with a stomach ache probably because as usual I have not shit properly all week. And overall just not in the mood for anyone at work to be in a shitty mood trying to bring me down. My door was open yesterday and the one office bitch thought it would be cute to still hand me papers to mail through my little window. The rage is still there from that. To be around her today is just making me miserable. For a "tailgate" party. I think I will just let it be and not even participate. I didn't make anything like I said I was going to. Fuck it. 

Also, trying to remember that I do not want to be miserable especially at work so I did a ton of rearranging yesterday and put a shelf into my office, moved an unneeded desk out and made more space. Now to decorate the shelf. Pics of family? Maybe? My pop dolls - for sure. I have no other place for them right now and realized my collection is incomplete. Sailor Moon with kitty is now selling on Amazon for 96 bucks. Should of kept them in their boxes. 

Also grabbed my chakra bush and a few other things. Now I get the idea - if people are going to come into my office as a safe space. Maybe. Just maybe, I should create a Zen space for just that. So, I spent my morning looking up stuff on Amazon. 

I am already dressed for work in Buffalo Bills jogging pants and wearing my husbands hoodie - tailgate party. No Eagles gear today even though I should just for fun, but whatever lets me be comfortable and warm will work. Today I might actually do a work out to keep warm. 

Plus it is finally fucking Friday. Just need to brush my teeth, my hair and leave. I have my $ to pitch in for pizza. Pizza for dinner too. Making white pizza though for that and not eating that until after Zumba. Kind of pointless if I am going to continue to eat like shit. Maybe I should make a salad and skip work pizza. Meh. One slice will be okay as long as I don't sit for too long. I have been doing good at keeping moving at work. 

Sleep was not a factor after 5am so here I sit tired and debating another cup of coffee before I head to work. I plan on doing this project non stop. I would like to get it down before time is up next week. 

So, today. Get through Friday without being super bitchy back to the office bitch. Do some real work on that project. And really not much else going on after Zumba so it will be a nice time to unwind after this week. 

Oh and wash my sheets, pillow cases tonight. Yep. Feeling more like I can take on this day, but also thinking about working a half day and coming home to sleep. We shall see.