Finally Fucking Friday

 First full week in a bit and it has been a long one. This new planet set, full moon, January 55th shit has me exhausted. I feel like I am already failing this new year and not quite sure what I want to even do about it. 

Yeah that may be my whole fucking issue. I do not feel like I want to do much about anything. I am just trying to make it through each day without feeling completely useless and well I know what I want, but have very little energy for it at the moment. Today feels a little better as it is Friday and I just need to get through the 7 hours of work, but then what will I have energy for? 

My weight bench is sitting untouched, no videos have been watched in a few days. Working out at work well - I read my book. Hoping I feel energetic enough to go to Zumba, but not really feeling that either. 

I fucking bought ice cream sandwiches last night and ate 3 of them. 3 OF THEM!! I did have a nice evening though. I got one of my bday gifts and even though I know it was a bit expensive, I do like it a lot. A birdie feeder with camera. Ha. Yep. On the way home we were talking about how we have never seen an owl and boom a little owl - well owl looking bird - flew over the car into the tree in front of us after we pulled into the driveway. I currently have it in the house now though because the weather is just plain stupid today. Fucking raining and wind. Just gross. Probably half my problem there is this weather. It is just confused and a mess. Making me so in the process. 

I asked about the other way to take the classes for the GED because I could literally work while working with my down time and haven't heard anything yet. Maybe my scores weren't high enough. I will wait until next Tuesday and discuss after class. I was also wondering how she got into teaching night classes. I could maybe do that. That place just kind of feels right somehow. Comfortable. My nerves really go away when there and that is odd for me. So, no rush there. Really no rush for anything if I think about it, but of course stressing myself out with stresses. 

Good grief. 

The real urge to leave my husband has subsided, but saving money to do so is still on the table - shit is just so expensive - I am thankful for cheaper rent.  

I am thankful for my good paying job and flexible hours. Even though I am still wondering why my boss called me out of the blue to talk about how to request off and then tells me to do it the exact way I have been. But I figure when she does it again or if she does - I will be straight up like please point out where I did it wrong. k Thanks.

Just been staying to myself this week at work and it is working out nicely. Someone had an appointment and it seemed everyone got the memo about checking in on me so I am not alone. Maybe I should of brought up the security issue with my boss, but honestly I do not think she would be able to do anything about it. Next time. Hmm the rain has stopped. Maybe I should put it back out. I want to see birdies lol 

A lot on my mind these days, but no times to write it all down at the moment. I will need to make time to gather my thoughts and sort them out. 

Today though I will enjoy the day that it is Friday and I plan to wear comfy clothes to work, listen to music and read this book. I might even buy myself lunch or a smoothie today. Yeah a smoothie will be good. I have to kick this need for sugar. 

Time to poop.