Covid

 First time for everything I suppose. Even though if this is how it feels, maybe I have not had it. Or maybe a few weeks ago when I was sick, I did. Who fucking knows. Yesterday was a blur of medicine and sleep. Today, not as bad but not good. I wished for a day to do nothing but sleep and well yep thanks universe for being so fucking rude. ANDDDD I have not even got a day to myself because the kiddo has it too. He is over the moon as he no longer feels like shit, but cannot attend school for the rest of the week. He doesn't know that part, but just knowing today was out made him smile. So, yep if I continue to feel this way the 5 days paid will be useful. When better I will need to disinfect this whole fucking place. I do not have the energy for it today, but hopefully hubby can start on the rooms I am avoiding as I am doing my best to isolate to this bedroom. He slept in the living room last night. I thought I would have a hard time sleeping, but the new medicine he got knocks me out cold. The only thing I am thankful at this time - well two is that one hubby does not have it. And that my body does not hurt as bad as it did yesterday. I was in tears with the pain. Thank God that subsided. 

Well now it is night time and well just started crying because I saw a video of someone getting their hair done and I cannot. Makes me so upset and of course this bitch isn't messaging me to reschedule so what to do now? I guess go somewhere else when I am better. 

I called the kiddos school, hopefully they will have work to do for him because today was annoying with him. He seems to think he is on vacation while I can barely breath and can't sleep anymore. Yay. Tomorrow might be better, but scheduled us both some tests at Walgreens to be sure. I do keep getting these weird pains in my chest and then noticed something well a video said something and now I am all kinds of paranoid. 49ers and Chiefs happened in 2020 - Chiefs won and the world shut down. Not ready for that history to repeat itself. My thoughts have also went as far as I hope cats are the aliens because when they come, I will be in good. 

Honey got groceries, my laptop and got dinner for him & the kiddo. Sucks not being able to give him hugs and kisses when he walks in the door or leaves, but worry how bad it will be for him if he gets this shit so staying away hoping the worst of this shit it out of the door. Tomorrow if I am feeling any better - I plan on opening all of the windows for a bit. Fresh air - I really should of went and stood in the sun while it was out. Who knows when we will see it again. 

Trying to figure out this year with all of this weird shit. I mean I knew it was coming, but always forget first you need to feel lower than low to go back up - so here I am. Feeling like hell. My period is coming too so I really just want to cry and me mad and have a fucking cookie. Good thing everything tastes weird so not really into eating much. Trying to take care of yourself mentally and physically while feeling like complete dog shit is hard. Harder than doing it in the first place. I feel like fuck maybe just pick one. 

Maybe a nice shower and some sleep will do me some good. I did my best today. These chest pains are actually concerning me though and I haven't medicated in a while so I guess I should.